Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash
I immediately told my ally that I invented the lightbulb of breakup advice. “I swear, this is often a thing! If people knew that the worst breakup symptoms only last three weeks, it might make them much easier to deal with!” I exclaimed.
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My friends mostly laughed off my grand discovery, although they couldn’t help but admit that I did seem to be much happier; they were relieved to possess “their chipper Hest” back. Still, I couldn’t stop brooding about this three-week coincidence. I continued telling anyone I could about my theory. I used to be convinced it might be helpful — and for a couple of individuals, it was. A year and a half-thought, discussion, and deliberation later, I think my three-week rule rings true more often than not. Now, I do know what you’re thinking: Everyone is different. It depends on what quite the relationship you had. It depends on whether you continue to love the person.
It depends on whether you were the one who was dumped. Nope, nope, nope, and nope. Because here’s the thing: this isn’t psychological. It’s chemical. Here’s an important disclaimer. I’m not nearly suggesting that you simply will ditch, fall out of affection with, stop caring about, stop brooding about, or completely recover from the person you broke up with. These are far more complicated feelings and emotions and are highly hooked into each situation. What I’m talking about are the extreme withdrawal symptoms that we experience after we are “cut off” from our drug of choice — love. Study upon study indicates that romantic love causes an identical reaction within the brain as addictive drugs do. It stands to reason that we should always expect to experience withdrawal symptoms after being bereft of our love dosage, but it also means there’s a true, biological switch that flips when the drug finally leaves our system.
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