Why did Queen Elizabeth have so much trouble with her children

Queen Elizabeth II did not have as much trouble with her children as the media has attempted to make it seem. Her Majesty was known to her family as a good mother. Most stories that questioned the late Queen’s parenting came as a result of her children’s unhappy first marriages (and note that Edward has been happily married and never divorced). She seems to have had some trouble with King Charles at different periods, and it could have been that their lack of common interests and different generational viewpoints made it hard for them to communicate and work together as Queen and heir.

The Queen was a product of the Greatest Generation, the men and women who sacrificed so much for the freedom of the world during World War II. Thrift, duty, and caring about things greater than oneself were at her core. Charles was more influenced by a combination of the lavish Edwardian era—via his close relationship with his indulgent grandmother the Queen Mother—and the postwar period that has been marked by material comfort and opportunity for youths to “find themselves.” He came into adulthood in the romantic but self-indulgent 1960s and 70s; and in the 1980s, the pursuit of self-interest became a watchword. None of this is to say that Charles has not been engaged with charity work and his duties. To a remarkable degree he has been a humanitarian and environmentalist, but his era has been considerably softer, easier, and more tolerant of self-indulgence than the Queen and Prince Philip’s selfless wartime values.

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The Queen and Charles went through a decade or more where they did not communicate very well. I think this changed by 2010, particularly as the Queen saw a much more relaxed and self-assured Charles supported by his second wife Camilla. Mother and son started to coordinate and see eye-to-eye at some point, and I think this is why the monarchy really flourished during the 2010s.

For the longest time, however, they did not seem to connect. This has been revealed by insiders who observed how poor their communication was—worst of all over matters regarding Camilla.

Generally, this is not that unusual. Parents and children of different generations can clash and fail to build an understanding. Most of us do not have to work with our families, but the Queen and Prince Charles—who was her firstborn son and heir—did have important work together.

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I think her trouble understanding Charles—and probably also his first wife Diana—were the main instances of Elizabeth II having a serious problem with her children.

She and Anne were always close. They always bonded over love of horses. Edward was close with both the Queen and Prince Philip. Contrary to media imaginings, Philip supported Edward’s decision to leave the military (see Tina Brown’s The Palace Papers, 2022), and the Duke of Edinburgh was perhaps closest to his youngest son of all his children.

Andrew and the Queen always had a special bond, and the she adored his wife Sarah “Fergie” Ferguson. Perhaps Andrew was spoiled by the late Queen, but it would not be fair to the blame her for the embarrassing character he became. He chose to use the privileges he was given for stupid purposes and overestimated his importance all on his own. To his credit, he and Sarah, Duchess of York were caring and involved parents to their two daughters, Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie. Various sources, including his daughters, say Andrew was wonderful as a father. I cite this as evidence that even embarrassing Andrew has shown good character in some aspects of his life.

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